Lorriiii Dragon Dream

What am I avoiding?

5/16/2019

In a recent shamanic journey I asked the spirits for guidance on how I might live my greatest possibility and I heard the words "What are you avoiding?" Such a powerful question. And frankly the idea of facing all that I've been avoiding scares me half to death.

And yes, I have lived in the confines of what I've been avoiding. I've peered through the prison of my own making and chose to stay where I am. To stay safe. I've hidden here to avoid difficult conversations and confrontation. To avoid people who scare me. To avoid sharing who I am. To avoid being judged or vulnerable or rejected. To avoid hurting someone's feelings. And yes I've lost friends and opportunities here in this place of avoiding what I fear. And although I am afraid still, I am choosing something different. I am choosing to face what scares me.

I see fear as a great teacher. As a doorway to open and expanding energy. And I believe that if I choose to look deeply at what scares me, my fear will reveal to me, places in my life, where there is opportunity to expand and grow. That although the energy of fear can certainly work to freeze me, it can also be used to set me free. And I long so deeply to be free. I believe that fear can cultivate great courage. And if I choose to, I can use the energy of fear to move through whatever challenges I face.

And as I am typing now I am hearing a song that goes;
"Return again
Return again
Return to the Land of your soul.

Return to who you are.
Return to what you are.
Return to where you are.
Born and re-born again."

And I know that the spiral path of my life, will continue to offer me opportunities to face all that I fear. Opportunities to courageously step forward and be seen. And I call upon the energy of courage and I breathe and I welcome it all.

In Sisterhood and Love,
Lorriiii Dragon Dream

0 Comments

Big Dreams ~ Big Medicine

8/15/2018

2 Comments

I believe that messages from Spirit/The Universe/Life/Creator/God/Goddess are all around us. That we are continuously being offered guidance and opportunities to learn, expand and grow, opportunities to step more fully into our power, to step into our greatest possibility. And the more heart open, present and aware we are, the more we are able to notice and truly receive this guidance. That the endless opportunities presented to us are meant for us. And that by saying yes to our dreams and therefore being in our power, we influence and bless everything we encounter with our presence.

Almost anyone who knows me well, knows that I often receive guidance through songs, stories and poetry. And the other day, was no exception. I woke up early in the morning with a song by the 80's band Journey which goes “Any way you want it. That's the way you need it. Any way you want it”

This song brought to mind a story from a few years back, when a friend/co-worker jokingly said to me “you really do want it all, don’t you Lori?”. I laughed and replied “actually, yes, yes I do”. I can’t even remember now what I said to trigger his statement/question but it became an ongoing joke between us. For example; if I asked him to please pass me a pencil he would laugh and say “you really do want it all, don’t you Lori.” To which I would respond “Yes, yes I do”. This was clearly meant as a joke, but as I reminisce now it feels like very big medicine for me. And as I am typing now I am hearing another song by the band Nazereth which goes. “Holy roller, lookin' down. Where you think you know, All the answers.. Arrogance and pride....are sin. Better look to your, own chances”

I’m not sure where the “shame” comes from that shows up with the words “I want it all”. I just know it’s there, like a shadow, an ache in my belly, tugging on me, whispering things like “who are you to want it all?” or “why do you deserve it all, when there are so many, with so little”. Where ever it comes from it feels very old, like an Ancestral seed, planted and rooted within me long ago. A seed watered and nourished by my belief in it’s message. A message of “I shouldn't ask for too much because there is not enough for everyone” and “it is more righteous and/or humble to ask for less or nothing at all”. Sitting with this shame, I touch my heart and I breathe and notice it’s affect. And I ask "Is it true?"

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.” ~ Marianne Williamson

I don't know where I was the first time I heard/read the above quote from Marianne Williamson but I do know that I was very touched by it and that it feels/felt profoundly true and that I was and am deeply moved by it still. I think it was around the time of the first Firewalk I attended. Which was a time of immense opening for me. A time of noticing how often I said "No" to my desires and dreams. A time of asking what truly limits me. Of asking myself how big do I allow myself to desire/dream? Of noticing how afraid I was to be seen and in spite of this fear, when opportunities arose, allowing myself to say "Yes" and "oh, what the heck, do it anyway".

I think its scientifically proven, that everything we experience is an interpretation of what our senses are telling us. Our senses are constantly sending information to our brain and our brain is filtering that information through our thoughts/beliefs to create our experience. So all that appears to be happening outside of us is actually happening within us as well. And so what we dream define us. Our dreams creates our world and influence our every relationship. And dreaming small does not serve us, our families, our communities, Mother Earth or any aspect of our world. And therefore in order to have the highest level of contribution in the this life, the world needs us to dream big. And so in this moment, if anyone asks me if I want it all. I will humbly say “Yes, Yes I do!” ~ Lorriiii

“I give myself permission to be all I can be. I give myself permission to live passionate and free.” ~ Karen Drucker

2 Comments

My International Women's Day Speech - 2017

7/20/2018

4 Comments

For those of you who do not know me, my name is Lori Folkins and I am a Hydroelectric Operating Supervisor (River Control Supervisor) at River Control also known as the International Control Dam.

Working at the International Control Dam has been such an incredible experience in so many ways. A few years Prior to becoming a Hydro Electric Operating Supervisor at River Control, I had the opportunity to do a rotation there. And shortly after I arrived, I attended a training seminar which was about the importance of the Niagara Diversion Treaty. Which basically is an agreement between Canada and United States to preserve the natural beauty of Niagara Falls by maintaining a minimum of 100,000 cubic feet per second of water over the falls during the day during tourist season and 50,000 cubic feet per second of water over the falls at night and during non tourist season. With the remainder of river divided equally between the two countries for power generation.

During the training various stake holders made presentations regarding the falls flow requirement and to be honest I found the material to be rather dry. And I found myself drifting a bit. Then one of the representatives from US Core of Engineers began his presentation by saying something like this;

“This treaty is very very important.. There many places in the world where they literally run rivers dry for money. Beautiful rivers and water falls completely dry. And Every time we violate this meaningful treaty there are powers that say “Why do we need a treaty anyway and who even notices if we fail to meet the falls flow requirement." And then he said "from my perspective, your first priority as River Control Supervisors is, Stewardship of the River”.

I was so touched by that. So moved that I live in a place that values the natural beauty of river over money and from that moment on I knew that I wanted to be a Steward of The River. And now that I am a Steward of the River, I feel so humbled and honoured and grateful to be the given the opportunity to be the first female have this responsibility.

I have been working in traditionally male dominated roles for all of my career. After graduating from High School I moved to Ontario from a very small town in New Brunswick and in 1987 I was one of a small group of young women to graduate from Radio College Canada’s Electronic Engineering Technology program.

Before starting with Ontario Hydro in 1990, I had a few different jobs; I assembled computers, I worked as technical support for Automation Products at an Electrical Distributer. Then I worked as technical support for a manufacturer of Programable Controllers & Automation Products.

Within Ontario Hydro I’ve worked as an Inventory Technician at Richview & Clarkson, an Electrical Operator in London, Eastern Ontario and Niagara Region, as well as a Nuclear Operator at Pickering GS.

And I am proud to have finished the Electrical Operator Training Program at the top of my class and the Nuclear Operator Training program with a 95% average. In 1998 I left Ontario Hydro to work as the first female Municipal Electrical Operator at Hydro Mississauga, and then the first female Municipal Electrical Operator at St Catharines Hydro and Horizon Utilities returning to Ontario Power Generation in 2008 as a Hydroelectric Operating Technician at Sir Adam Beck.

Through out my career I have gone to places where very few woman have gone and Ive seen incredible things.

Mother Teresa said “If we have no peace, it is because we have forgotten that we belong to each other.” I believe that we belong to each other and that as women we share our triumphs and our challenges. And to me the most valuable thing we can do is to support each other.

Also when it comes to women’s empowerment men play very important roles. Whether it is Father, Brother, Grandfather, Partner, Son, Teacher, or Friend the influence of these roles is vital for the true empowerment of women. And I have experienced this first hand in my family and in my work life. I’ve received so much support and knowledge and training and friendship from my family & colleges both female and male.

I cannot talk about empowerment without acknowledging my greatest female role model my mother. Who was also the first female in her role as purchasing manager in the company she worked at. My mother is an incredible woman who always made me feel special and capable of almost anything.

Today all over the world men and woman are gathering together in celebration of the political, economic & social achievements of women and in acknowledgement of the sacrifices made and challenges faced. To me this in itself is remarkable and wonderful and hopeful. And it is such an honour to be part of that celebration and to work for a company who values the contributions of women and all employees. That values each persons diversity, unique background, experience, perspective and talents. To live in a country whose key values include gender equality, empowerment of women and girls as well as the promotion and protection of our human rights as women.

It is hard to believe that (although some women were given the right to vote just over 101 years ago) it was not until 1960 that ALL Canadian women (including indigenous woman and woman of colour) finally had the right to vote in Canada.. Yes we’ve come along way since then. But in terms of women in trades we still have a ways to go.

Madeleine Albright, the first female Secretary of State for the United States, said "Societies are better off when women are politically and economically empowered". I agree.

I recently heard a statistic that said that Less than 20% of woman are enrolled in trades, transport and construction education programs today. And when we look around our work place this statistic seems generous.

According to Statistics Canada Women represent the majority of young university graduates in Canada, but are still underrepresented in science, technology, engineering, mathematics and computer science (STEM) fields.

At the same time, women in Canada have become increasingly well-educated and today represent a larger share of the labour market than they have ever represented previously. However, women continue to have fewer apprenticeship or trades certificates in Canada than their male counterparts.

So yes, as woman we still have work to do.

I’d like to share an adapted quote from Marianne Williamson and her book called “A Return To Love”.
“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of the divine. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of Creation that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”

There have been many challenges working as a female in male dominated roles but like many women, one of my greatest challenges in the work place and in life, has been around standing fully in my own power. Culturally there has been a lot of confusion around power verses aggression. And as woman, many of us, have been taught to over value the importance of being nice and liked. That in being powerful we become masculine.

What continues to support me in my own empowerment is the acknowledgement that power is in fact very natural.. When we think of a thunderstorm or herd of galloping horses or of the great power of the water going over Niagara Falls its easy to see that power is quite natural.

To me true Power comes from confidence, from mutual respect, from being assertive and speaking our truth clearly without hesitation or apology.

True Power is standing up for ourselves and others even if we wont be liked. True Power comes from being honest and clear about our intentions and boundaries. From taking responsibility for our choices.

Ive learned that empowerment is deeply related to where I choose to stand within myself. That my worth is not determined by the opinions of others.. That my value is not determined by my circumstance.

I believe that change comes from within and that we as woman must recognize how much change we can make happen if we believe in ourselves and are willing to support one another and stand in our own power.
By honouring ourselves and treating ourselves with respect we set the stage for others to treat us this way also.
Culturally and within the family we are often told what we ought to do and be in life. I believe Being authentic is like saying yes to life and is vital to empowering ourselves.

Its true that Traditions often help us to sustain cultural values but more often its the nontraditional thinking that brings new discoveries and unthought of possibility.

Julie Burstein said “that the best way to learn anything is through stories”.

I’d like to share a story with all of you that illustrates my point its called;
"The Man who tried to Deform Trees" adapted from a story by Dr. Clarissa Pinkola Estes book “The Power of the Crone”

"There once was a man who decided to create an orchard of deformed trees..
He was sure that people who had Zen and Bonsai Gardens would want buy these exotic and uniquely shaped trees.

And so he began with saplings, and as they grew he bent them over with ropes and staked them to the earth. He pulled the leader branch, at the top of the tree, almost all the way to the ground..
But as time passed, all the trees would eventually break the ropes and grow straight up towards the sky.... And so after much thought, he decided to tie thick ropes with large rocks to the middle of the trees where they were bent over. That way, they would not be allowed to grow straight up.. But no matter what he tried the the leader branch would inevitably curve upward and start to grow straight again.. It drove him mad and eventually he gave up.

Well the old wise ones say that trees are heliotropic, they follow the sun, they follow the light.. They can not be taken down buy ropes or rocks. And any chance they get, any branch, any twig or leaf will always aim itself upward towards the radiant light."

And we are like that too, when the time comes for us to commit fully living empowered lives, that is when we cut the ropes and remove the rocks.. Setting ourselves free.. And the whole reason to be free is to bring our unique gifts out into the world.

And now I would like to leave you all with a Blessing I wrote a few years back;

May you be blessed with the gift of knowing your own courage, strength & beauty.

May you look upon yourself kindly and with compassion so that your gentle spirit feels ever safe to reveal its’ creative message.

May you continue to gather and to celebrate with those you love and remember the magic and beauty of your kinship.

And in the silence of your own company may you feel held in the ever present and loving support of the Universe.

4 Comments

Lorriiii Is My Faery Name

7/16/2018

1 Comment

In the fall of 2017 I attended a powerful Moving Mandala Shamanic Training Retreat in Cape Breton, Nova Scotia, and I was, once again shown that I am always where I am meant to be. This Retreat was facilitated by my very close friend and fellow Moving Mandala Teacher, Margot G, who was assisted by my very good friend/Retired Moving Mandala Teacher, Brenda Marita Mason. And although, I truly love and believe in the process of the Moving Mandala, I secretly thought that I was attending this retreat, in service of my soul friends. Well it didn't take long for me to realize, that I needed this retreat as much or more than it needed me. And who knew, that the medicine I would receive, would change me and that I would experience such a powerful healing and release.. That my inner child, my little one inside would be so present and blessed.

Of course looking back now, I should have known, given the facilitators and the amazing women that were my fellow participants.. Half of the participants were self proclaimed Crones. Wise Grandmother Woman with so much to share. Yet at the same time, so open to receive wisdom and healing as well. All of the women in the circle were very creative teachers in their own right. Poets, Singers, Photographers, Artist, Actors, Land Stewards and so much more. All gifted woman with rich life experience to share.. Not to mention one beautiful furry 4 legged participant, who gently watched over us and, at just the right moments, blessed us with unconditional love and comfort.

I received so much from this group of amazing women. And so many powerful messages from spirit as well. I entered into the magical realm and awakened a part of me that easily sees and experiences wonder. A playful part of me that fully believes in magic. One of the sessions held particular meaning for me, it was about finding a spirit name. And although I participated, my intention was to hold space for the others and I didn't expect to receive anything. Prior to going into the journey I heard and shared a song with group which was about entering a magical Faery forest and calling to Pan and Aphrodite to join us in celebration. At the time I didn't know who Pan was, I simply heard and shared the song. While on the journey I was greeted by a creature who was half boy and half goat. He was playing a flute and motioned to me to follow him. He lead me into a magical forest. It was so lush and green. I saw dew drops and twinkling lights and felt the Faery people all around me. And I found myself asking for my faery name and almost immediately heard a voice singing over and over Lorriiiii Lorriiii Lorriii. Which felt very playful and a little silly to me. Coming out of the journey, I wasn't sure if I would share my journey with group but as soon as I touched the talking stick I knew I needed to share my experience and I am so happy I did. After sharing one of the ladies said that the Goat Boy I described, sounded like Pan. Which was such a lovely surprise and in that moment I felt so blessed and honoured to be given my Faery name.
Forever Yours,
Lorriiii

What am I avoiding?

Big Dreams ~ Big Medicine

My International Women's Day Speech - 2017

Lorriiii Is My Faery Name

Archives

Contact Us